Saturday, March 5, 2016

5 Things I Wish "They" Had Told Me

For all intents and purposes, “they” represents anyone who has knowledge/wisdom about a certain aspect of life that could be beneficial to another yet intentionally chooses not to share.

There are some things I learned later on in my life that honestly, I would have much rather preferred a “heads up” about. However, I figure I can go ahead and "hack" the cycle by doing some of the sharing myself :) Here are 5 of them:

1.       “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein. There are only a few things more painful than working and fighting so hard to succeed in the wrong lane. Cheers to having the courage to be fishes that decide to swim in the ocean rather than keep attempting to climb the monkey trees...greatness awaits :)

2.       "You can only give what you are filled up with."  If you are filled with joy, you will spread joy to others. If you are filled with misery, you will spread misery to others. It’s as simple and short as that. Regular self-reflection is advisable.

3.       "There is poetry in failure and rejection." They are proof of effort and work towards a desired goal. How unfortunate that many times we take away bitterness and shame from the experiences. They are meant to be embraced more as friendly teachers rather than scary enemies.

4.     "Just because a cause is worthy, doesn’t mean you are the one called to champion it." I believe every worthy cause has someone called to it. I also believe that not every cause is meant for everyone. Discover that which ignites your spirit and run with it.

5.       “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain. The amount of peace you will experience in this life is directly linked to the amount of forgiveness you are willing to dispense to those that “crush” you (including yourself at times).  And truth be told, most people do not experience the joy of peace because in this world we live in, with the level of crushing taking place, having peace requires the daily choice of forgiveness. 

There they are - 5 things I wish "they" had told me. Any other ones you wish you'd been told earlier?

 I'd love to know. 

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  1. Beautiful thoughts and perspective indeed, and thanks for sharing!

  2. Thanks, Blogoratti! I'm glad you feel that way :)

  3. Exactly my thoughts. I had drafted a post of this nature to post on my blog.. However, I'll just add to your listed thoughts.

    1. I wish they had told me that God doesn't have to put everything together in my life (perfect life, no challenges, tragedies, or failures at all) to prove that He loves me; that the challenges or sweetness I enjoy in my life is not a sign of how much God doesn't or does love me. I had to learn this the hard way. That life happens, things happens beyond our control (whether or not God allows it- like i Job's case) we just have to learn to trust God beyond our feelings to get us through it all.

    2. Failures/Mistakes are learning tools. Mistakes happen. You can’t take back what’s done or what’s said. Take responsibility for what you did and move on. Learn from it. Apologize if necessary, but learn from it or you will repeat it. Taking responsibility for the mistake puts you in control.

    3. Realize that you are not the center of the universe. In our 20's we like to think otherwise. David Foster Wallace gave a timeless commencement speech around this idea. In short, realize that every single person around you has a life as incredibly complex as yours. Lives that are filled with relationships, thoughts, stresses, traumas and experience you will barely ever find out about. Think about this the next time you judge someone as weird, or feel as if being stuck in traffic is the worst thing in the world to happen to you. Each year I read his speech, reminding myself that it takes a real (and often difficult) effort to practice this.

    4. Build real relationships. "Networking" can be fake and draining. It's hard to really connect with people. Building friendship really works.

    Looks like I have taken so much of your space.
    Thank you for this post.
    So nice to meet you Ada. Found your blog through a Nigerian Christian Women blogger's review by Ifeoma Samuel for