Wednesday, September 9, 2015

5 Things That Make Me Attractive To People

Growing up, I didn’t think I was good-looking.
Consequently, I didn’t think I was attractive. I saw nothing in me, or about me, that could count as "attractive".

I was wrong.
And today I know that. I have quite the number of attractive qualities – some innate and some cultivated. What I’ve come to learn as I’ve grown older is that no one has the monopoly on attractiveness – anyone can become attractive. You, me, and cousin Lucy. From that awareness, I’ve noticed specific things about myself that makes me attractive to folks, male and females alike, and of course I’ve decided to share them in today’s post for your reading pleasure. Here goes it.

1.     My Smile: I smile a lot. And yes, it’s very intentional. I like smiling because I think it kills two birds with one stone – it brightens up my face and usually makes the recipient of my smile feel good. A smile is a great way of acknowledging a fellow person and showing excitement at their presence. I love smiling and I love when others smile. It’s a win-win all around. It’s without a doubt one of the things people tend to find attractive and memorable about me.

2.     The Way I Look: I cannot deny that what I look like goes a long way. And by that I mean my level of cleanliness. I shower. I brush my teeth. I moisturize my face and body. I comb my hair. I wear deodorant. I wear ironed clothes and clean shoes. All on a daily basis – I have to say that because you’d be surprised how uncommon this is. To fully appreciate the attractiveness of cleanliness you have to experience firsthand the unattractiveness of dirtiness. Chai. No bueno. Cleanliness is definitely one thing that makes me attractive. Now it would be remiss of me not to mention that smell is very much included in this. Oh, there’s nothing quite like the right body-scent combination. I find it extremely attractive in others. I have a love for fruity and floral perfumes; they tend to pair well with my natural body chemistry. I’m currently head over heels about Daisy by Marc Jacobs and Fantasy by Brittany Spears. (Since moving back to Nigeria, perfume has seemed pointless though – it’s like once I step outside, the scent disappears from my body sharply. Haba.)

3.     The Way I Write: I can honestly say that I am most honest through my writing. I find it harder to be open and vulnerable face to face but when it comes to putting it down on paper, or typing it up in Microsoft Word, I’m golden. It’s the most cathartic release for me – it’s my therapy, so to speak, without ever having to drop a dollar for a session (which eventually might end up happening :) Yes, I get nervous at times about how what I share through writing will be received but it’s much easier for me to get over it once I hit the “publish” button. And without a doubt, this blog and what I share here has amped up my level of attractiveness by several notches. It has connected me to a sea of people that find my personal struggles in life relatable and encouraging in many ways. It has brought several meaningful and undeniably wonderful friendships into my life. My desire to consistently push out courageous and honest writing has undoubtedly made me a more attractive person. We live in a world so full of lies and facades that when anyone in some way, shape, or form, decides to say (or write) something in truth, people are extremely turned on by it and drawn to it; it’s like spotting an oasis in the desert – nothing short of magical.

4.     My Willingness to Show Empathy: You can tell me anything. No, I’m not kidding. You can tell me any deep, dark secret you harbor; any sin you’re struggling with in life; any fear that’s crippling you; any thoughts of suicide you battle. I’m seriously that girl. I won’t be shocked. I won’t shout it from the rooftops. I won’t think of you as less of a person. I won’t look at you as some modern-day monster. One of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou is, “I am human and nothing human is alien to me.” I believe that with all of my being. I think we are more similar as people than we are different. I don’t think there is anything you can do that I’m not capable of doing – it’s simply a matter of choice and that choice is dependent upon environment, opportunity, belief system, and motivation in any given circumstance. When I see people that way, I find it much easier to empathize with and pray for folks – from great saints to despised criminals.  And from that intentional empathy, I’ve noticed that people find it extremely easy to confide in me - strangers included. Why? Because I do my best to simply LISTEN. To keep an open ear to hear their story, to find common ground in their story, to discover how I can be of help in their story, to tell them the truth (most times uncomfortable truth) I am enlightened to in their story. I’m not perfect at this but I do try. I make the effort consistently to offer empathy to others. And because of that, people are attracted to me.

5.     My Uncanny Sense of Humor: I’m convinced that I’m funny. My brother thinks I’m only funny accidentally, when I’m not trying, but I beg to differ – I think I’m funny even when I try to be :) I enjoy making people laugh. Life can feel so stuffy and stressful so when I can say or do something amusing that leaves a person in a fit of laughter, I’m all for it. A sense of humor is always an attractive quality and from the number of people I’ve been known to make laugh in my day, it’s safe to say it belongs on my attractiveness list.

And now we’ve come to the end of the list; 5 things that make me attractive to others.  I felt inspired to write this post because if you Google “How to be attractive”, you’ll get about 350 million results – clearly it’s a topic of great concern to many. People want to be attractive. We want to be magnetic. We want to be acknowledged and appreciated. We want to draw people in and feel connected to them; not necessarily everyone, but at least some. And the 5 attributes I listed above have been tested and proven in my life to be great at attracting others to me. As you can see, all of them can be worked on and implemented, if one so desires to.
Of course, these aren’t the only things that can make someone attractive. 

They’re so many more. 

So, tell me, what are your most attractive qualities? What do people tend to like about you the most? What do you find attractive in others?

Spill…I want to know :)
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  1. I find it attractive when people try to encourage others, have a positive attitude, and try to make others feel good about themselves versus tearing them down and trying to boost their self-esteem at others expense.

    1. I'm in agreement, Tracey. It is super attractive to see a person that puts his/her ego aside and musters the courage to bring out the best in others. It's not always easy to do (I fail at it sometimes) but I am working on consciously making it a lasting habit in my life.

  2. I'd add your willingness to show your own vulnerability - which may translate into your empathy. I think you're wonderful!

    1. George! Have I told you lately what an amazing friend you are? Thank you always for your kind words :)

  3. I felt like I wrote this post
    I can relate 100%
    I too wasn't considered attractive, and was actually bullied when I was younger
    But have since grown both internally and externally, and can say that I may not be Naomi Campbell, but I am happy with, and confident about, who i am as a woman