Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Why I Want To Watch the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

Well, it's because I  planned to when I first heard the movie was being made.

I bought all three books in the trilogy when it was first released and liked it so much that I even wrote about them on this very blog back in 2013. I’d be lying if I said I had no desire to watch it.

I even saw the trailer.

So, do I want to watch the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie that will be out on Valentine’s Day?


Will I watch the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie on Valentine’s Day?

Absolutely not. (I had no business even watching the trailer).

There has been much conversation in the Christian community recently about the movie coming out and whether Christians should or shouldn’t watch it. Some people have taken the stance that it’s “just a movie”, “no big deal”, and people should stop being so bloody “dramatic”. Some people have gone in the opposite direction and declared that anyone who watches the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie is a “heathen going straight to hell”.

I’m going to tell you my thoughts from my perspective – as a young woman with the desire to be a faithful CHRISTIAN in love and obedience to God’s Will.

The truth is that from an early age, I’ve always been attracted to romance/erotica stories. I mean I was reading Mills & Boon/Temptations books as a kid (which can easily be considered soft-core porn novels). Some of my favorite films growing up had extensive sex scenes – Fatal Attraction, Daniel Steel’s “Jewels”, Revenge, Basic Instinct, and more. I got exposed to porn at a young age and liked it. Some of my first short stories and screenplays were erotica stories for Pete’s sake! So, as you can see, a gal like me would naturally be 100% in support of the Fifty Shades Movie and would probably arrive at the theater 30 minutes in advance to get “good seating”.

The difference between yesterday and today in my life is that I had an EXPERIENCE in-between. I “experienced God”. I’ve talked a little bit about my bout with depression in 2012 and how I hit rock bottom in every area – my faith, finances, employment, relationships, etc. Well, in that “dance with darkness”, I found someone I wasn’t looking for – God. On one of the days when I was in a particularly heart-wrenching sea of sadness, I got a clear message from God that hit me in my spirit in a way like never before in my life: “You have no idea who you are. I’ve got you and I created you on purpose for a purpose.”


I wasn’t expecting that. Especially since I’m one of the worst sinners I know. I wasn’t prepared for such an earth-shattering message. I was filled with what can only be described as “…the peace that surpasses all understanding”.

And so, I got excited.

I wanted more of that peace. I wanted to get more loud messages like that from God. I decided to open up the Bible my aunt gave me as a gift years before, that I barely got any use out of, and started seeking HIS truth. And as I began to understand His ways, something scary began to happen – I started getting convicted by the Holy Spirit. (Not all at once but over a continued period of time; I am still getting convicted about things today.)

It’s like blinders were lifted from my eyes and I saw how ungodly and wicked many things in my life, and the lives of others, were. I started to see why certain things were considered sinful and how God viewed certain acts.
It was agony!
Things I previously said and did with happy ease were now so clear to me as hurtful and insulting to God. And I was no longer comfortable or happy hurting God like I was before when He wasn't on my mind.

One of the things that hurts and insults God is the blatant disregard for our bodies as the temples of His Holy Spirit through sexual immorality. Don’t take my word for it, here’s what the apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20,

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

One could say that there’s no big deal in watching Fifty Shades of Grey - “it’s just a movie, jeez!”

It’s just entertainment.

Not quite.

The idea that anything can just be “entertainment” is an illusion, loves. Everything in life has purpose. Everything in life has impact. Whether we try to classify it as education or “entertainment” – it’s all EDIFICATION. Knowing this, I’m learning that I have to be careful what I allow in, through my eyes & ears, into my mind and heart.

And truth be told, I really can’t afford to let the Fifty Shades of Grey movie in.

No, I don’t have anything against sex. Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, What’s the Deal with Sex and Christian Women?, sex is a GOOD thing. It was created by our GOOD God for a GOOD purpose with GOOD boundaries and GOOD enjoyment as a result. But, like I also mentioned in that post, for every beautiful gift that God created holy, there is a perverted and unholy version that exists. Look around you – there are MANY perverted and unholy versions of sex.

What constitutes a perverted and unholy version of sex?

Any version that is outside of God’s original intent for sex; sex outside of marriage, gay and lesbian sex, sex with oneself (a.k.a masturbation), sex with a married person, sex with animals, adults having sex with children, sex with dead bodies, etc.

All of which are much more prevalent than you probably imagine.

And why wouldn’t they be?

Our media and the porn industry do a terrific job of selling sex as something it was never meant to be – a god. “Everything” is about sex. Sex has been plastered over the films being churned out in the movie industry. Sex is the staple of most of our TV shows. Sex is all over our music. You don’t need me to tell you that the porn industry is beyond “booming” – it is a multi-billion dollar industry (no surprise there; I personally know how addictive it is). The porn industry is one of the most lucrative industries in the world, alongside human trafficking and prostitution – which happen to revolve around, you guessed it, the idolization of S-E-X.

As someone who believes sex is an important facet of life and must be discussed and taught by our pastors and caregivers in our homes, churches, youth ministries, and community outreach programs, I also believe that while the beauty of sex must be explained, the destruction that comes from idolizing and worshipping sex must be explained too.

It is NOT a god.

And movies like Fifty Shades of Grey (books too) portray sex as a g-o-d.  

We’re so easily deceived in this world; Fifty Shades of Grey isn’t a “love story” like it’s being sold to the masses (the fact that it’s coming out on Valentine's Day is hilarious). Fifty Shades of Grey is a story about the perversion of sex through the glorification of asphyxiation, bondage, and torture with 100% disregard for God and His Will for sex.

And you probably can’t afford to watch it either.

You might say watching the movie is not a sin but whether we agree on that or not, we must remember that as Christians we are called to not only avoid sin but to also avoid occasions that lead to sin. Mat 26:41 says,
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
No, it's not more rules to make your life less "fun" but godly boundaries to give you more joyful freedom and keep you from becoming a slave to sin. Watching this movie will probably inspire you to go ahead and call that random bloke you broke it off with months ago (since you had such a passion to honor God and your future spouse with your body) because you’re feeling lonely and you’ll end up having sex with him – sex outside of marriage a.k.a “sin”. Watching this movie will probably leave you “hot and bothered” and you’ll most likely end up masturbating that night – sex with yourself a.k.a “sin”. Watching this movie will imprint a plethora of sexual fantasies in your mind and you’ll probably go throughout the next weeks and months replaying the sexual imagery from the movie and it will probably consume your thoughts day in and day out (even in church) – the idolization and worship of sex a.k.a “sin”. The list of possibilities goes on.

I expect an unbeliever to easily watch this movie because they do not believe/respect God and have no desire to live in honor of the Will of God. This post isn’t for unbelievers and throws no attack their way – they honor their “lack of faith” quite well.

This post is for those of us that say we are “believers” and “Christians” yet find it easy to join along in the things that unbelievers say, watch, listen to, and do because it’s popular or we’re feeling horny or we want to belong.

Our allegiance to the way of the world and apathy towards our relationship with Christ is “scary”. How can we say we love and know God yet continue to do all the things in the world that look nothing like Him or His Will?
We can't.

So, if you’re a Christian man or woman that has been on the fence about this movie; if you’re single and itching to watch it to get your hormones riled up and ready for post-movie masturbation night runs; if you’re a sexually frustrated married woman ready to watch this film to get all “hot and bothered” and indulge in a fantasy about someone other than your husband; if you don’t think it’s a big deal and want to watch it with your boyfriend for “kicks” and to get tips for your Valentine’s night sleepover session – I UNDERSTAND.

I really do.

I get it. The movie is tempting and will probably make you feel super “happy”.  

And like I’ve said before, I can’t force you to do or not do anything; however, I would be remiss not to tell you that the fleeting satisfaction you (or I) will get from a movie like this is incomparable to the sweet joy and fullness you (or I) are capable of getting from Christ if you (or I) choose Him over your (or my) fleshy desires. I would also be remiss not to tell you that as Christians we cannot happily endorse the standards of the society we live in because they are rarely the same as God’s standards, they have negative repercussions that bring about calamity in our lives (have you heard of how porn addiction is destroying marriages? That's just one example),  and when it comes to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, I know it will do me more harm than help on my faith walk.

I believe it will have the same effect on you too.

And if you struggle (or have struggled) with masturbation, porn addiction, and/or sex addiction – this will definitely be one nail hammered into the coffin for you.

Like I said, I can't force you to do anything - I simply want to offer my position on the movie in hopes that it's of benefit to you. And so, I leave you with the words of the apostle Paul that convey my sentiments best (Romans 12:2):

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern the Will of God.”

And as Jesus Himself says over and over in scripture, “Whoever has ears ought to hear”.

So, as someone who wants to truly love and honor the beautiful and holy version of sex that God created, when it comes to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie I am choosing to be someone who has ears that hears.
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    1. I'm thankful the post helped you, Olu :)))

  2. Good for you on your perspective.

    I choose not to watch the movie neither buy the books. I better focus and envision something else as per my personal conviction via my personal revelation with God. I have no intention watching pornography or reading.
    My choice and My perspective.

    1. Kudos to you for following your convictions! And thank you for reading/commenting :)

  3. This is soooo...what's the word for it?
    All encompassing...seeing through all the excuses we could possibly make and giving us the God truth!

    Just like I can't feed myself some stuff that can make me fall, I can't do this to myself too.
    I may feel like watching erotica but I am not run by feelings.
    I'm run by what is pleasing to God and what feeds my soul...
    God help us all.

    1. Thank you for adding your input, Frances!

      I love your honesty by saying that you might have the feelings to watch erotica yet you understand that it's a choice and you choose to be run by what is pleasing to God, and not your feelings.

      Like you said my dear, may God help us all because it is called a "struggle" for a reason :)

  4. This write up got me emotional as it reminded me of being exposed early to soft porn in novels too. It also took me down memory lane to the point between my past and present when i met Christ. I love your perspective and i totally concur with you. Let's keep standing for Christ, its better to stand alone with him than miss it with the crowd.

    1. My dear Augustina! Thank you for sharing the truth about your early exposure to soft porn - I'm moved by acts of bravery and that was brave of you :)

      I'm learning more and more that there are times we will have to stand alone in the name of standing for Christ but despite how lonely or frustrating it can get, I'm still choosing the way of Christ as I learn it - amen to both of us staying strong my friend :)

  5. isn't is funny how we all share the same story. same thoughts, same understanding...keep writing. It's Never about us, this life we live, it shouldn't be us living. we should die, reduce, decrease so that Christ might increase in us or we could do whatsoever we want and increase whilst letting Christ decrease. THANK YOU for this Piece

    1. You're welcome :)

      Thank you for reading, alchemist. Truth be told, we're all much more alike than we like to believe. That is exactly why I believe in the power of honest storytelling. There are always people that can relate, it relieves the loneliness others feel, and can offer encouragement and hope to people struggling just like you :)

  6. I just saw this post on this too, it will help us place things more in perspective..

    1. I read it and it sounded so similar! Thank you for pointing me towards the article. P.S. I have a personal love for John Piper and his work with "Desiring God". I've watched several of his sermons online and they continue to resonate/convict me.

  7. Replies
    1. Thank you, nne. And thank God that it blessed you! The goal was achieved :)

  8. We need voices like yours to oppose the world cause in this century, the world has no opposition or competition anymore

    1. I appreciate you saying that, Nachi! I simply want to be a part of the solution as much as I can and these posts are one of the ways I hope to do that. Like you said, the world sees to have less and less opposition as time passes and I want to be part of the group of people that grow courageous enough to share godly truth as it is imparted in me for the benefit of those that desperately need to hear it (and for my own ears as well :)

  9. Why didnt any guy comment so far? Hummmm just thinking. The truth has set us free...but i'm more curious to know what the film is all about at this moment. Not until i see, i wont draw any conclusions. Although its vividly clear sex, is a sin outside marriage but mind you....its not about saying i wont watch it n still go do some little minor sin out side sex, cos sin is sin but rather meaning what one says. Its only God that sees our i am not gonna follow the crowd.

    1. Thanks for reading, Paul. I'm a little confused by your comment. I don't fully understand the points you are trying to make.

    2. I was kinda sleepy when i commented but what i guess i was trying to say is... I am curious to see the movie and its not about me saying "i dont want to watch the movie so i won't sin meanwhile i might be commiting sin via other things"
      I guess some people are under this category though...i really want to know the point the movie is making before i can draw conclusions. It was almost same thing i heard about "the interview" i had to see for myself n believe me i understood the wrong Hollywood has done.

    3. Ok, I get what you're saying Paul! I'm going to reference your line of "I don't want to watch the movie so I won't sin meanwhile I might be committing sin via other things". Such a statement definitely has truth behind it - to vehemently fight against one specific act that will likely lead to sin while happily indulging in other sins shows that we've missed God's mark completely and we're not truly seeking righteousness. However, that line is also unfortunately used as an excuse for people to continue engaging in their unrighteous and ungodly behavior because the person preaching is still a sinner in some other way abi?

      Well, that is exactly the reason we should listen to conviction and fight sin at every turn. We all have a sinful nature and the mark of someone that is honestly saved is a desire and willingness to fight their temptations and sins. If like you said, a person is "committing sin via other things" and struggling to be righteous, why on earth would the person knowingly add yet another temptation that would likely lead to yet another sin to grapple with?

      That is intentionally setting ourselves up to fail on our faith walk and should make us question whether we truly desire the godly life we "claim" we want. Truth be told, "God is never mocked". We can make all the excuses we want but He knows when we truly desire Him (and still struggle with sin) versus when we "say" we want Him (yet rush into temptation/sin freely and happily).

  10. Very well said
    Long but worth the read
    At first, I wasn't sure I agreed with you (even though you literally spoke my mind)...then the point hit home. I also chose not to see 50 Shades for pretty much the same reasoning highlighted above; a personal choice. That's not to say I condemn anyone who did...
    This post was so well versed. Thanks for sharing


    1. Thank you, Onyxsta! And a special thank you for reading it all the way through - like you said, it was LONG lol. I tried to shorten it to the best of my ability ( you don't want to see the first draft :)

      I love your honestly in saying that you weren't sure you agreed with me. I don't ever expect everyone to agree with me because 1. I know the message I share isn't always for everyone and 2. I know that I am not above error. That is why I believe in the beauty of sharing experiences, conversing, and learning from one another - we can pick up new wisdom nuggets we were not aware of before that can drastically change our lives for the godlier or we can pass such nuggets on to the next person for their growth in Christ.

      I appreciate you so much for following the blog and keeping up with the posts - have a great week girl! :)