Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Women Who Cry

Hey, loves!

Here's the new post of the week for you.

Ok, ok, it's not technically new since it's been part of the online world for a little while but since it hasn't been shared on the blog yet, I'll count it as new here :) Today's post is a repost of one I wrote recently for the lovely Precious Igwe, of as part of her "Redefining Femininity" series.
Enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments section below!

When I was younger, I misjudged the act of crying.

I considered it somewhat of a weak quality stereotyped as feminine – and so did many I knew.

I tried to avoid it as much as I could (no luck when it came to the heart-felt movies though; they got me every time!) I was under the impression that as a woman trying to develop in strength and character, crying was not-the-way-to-go.  I mean it’s bad enough that there’s the social stigma that women are “fragile” and “should be handled with care” but when you add tears to that, it becomes  a recipe for disaster!

 Or so I thought.

 I’ve come to learn (over time) that I was wrong – it’s 100% OK to cry (by yourself or in front of another person).

 In fact, it’s NECESSARY.

When we cry, we release parts of the toxic emotional baggage we carry day in and day out in our lives that continually weigh us down. When we cry, we allow our bodies to undergo a form of spiritual catharsis – a purge, if you will. When we cry, we clear out internal clutter and give our hearts room to breathe.

 Now I know this might sound scary to some because many of us contemporary chicas have been taught early on in society that “vulnerability” is synonymous with “weak” and should be avoided like the bubonic plague. We’ve been taught that to be respected and valued by others as strong women, we need to make sure that no one ever gets the opportunity to see us cry or we’ll be labeled as “teary-eyed-Cathy”. Well ladies, those are quite plainly…lies.

In actuality, vulnerability is a sign of COURAGE and POWER. And crying is a facet under the vulnerability umbrella.

It takes a courageous person to admit they need a “purge” moment. It takes a powerful person to release those tears and let them flow. When we don’t cry, we roam around with bottled up feelings and hurt, leaving us emotionally-constipated and continuously frustrated.

No bueno.

 Challenge the stereotype, ladies. Crying doesn’t have to be seen as a weak, feminine quality – you can redefine it in your life as a courageous and powerful feminine quality instead. The ability to cry is a GIFT – unfortunately, a grossly underappreciated one. I believe if more young girls and women took the time to have a good cry (as needed – I’m not saying you should cry every second of the day o!:), more young girls and women would feel  MUCH BETTER and be free to enjoy life MUCH MORE.

So, the next time you feel cautious about releasing the “water works”, remember that it is well within your power to do so and yes, strong women DO cry.
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What are your thoughts on this one, loves? Do you believe crying is an essential part of life? Or do you believe crying makes a woman "soft" or "weak"? Leave a comment below - I love reading them!:)

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  1. This is a truly amazing read. Crying indeed frees us. Everyone should feel comfortable letting that tear out - men and even entrepreneurs, for crying helps to validate attachment to matters we are most deeply connected to; matters that we truly desire.

    Crying is Connection. Crying is Deep. Crying is YOU

    1. Thank you, Mordi! I'm so happy that you have the courage, as a guy, to acknowledge that crying is necessary. I love that you mentioned "crying is connection" - absolutely true :)

  2. This post is super amazing!!! I mean crying helps a lot. It helps heal wounds faster than time. Crying is loosing!!!

    1. Dalu, Chukwuma!! And yes, crying does heal! It is truly therapeutic. Can I just say how impressed I am that the two comments I got on this post came from guys? I am IMPRESSED :)

  3. I used to cry a lot, and from the looks I got from people, I began to feel i have a problem. I cry for the normal things na. E.g first time hubby of two years was going on an indefinite transfer from lag to Abuja, to leave me and my 4 months old son for the first time. and my mom made me feel like, 'what? Must you cry?' I felt so bad. But now after reading some articles, including yours, I feel am not alone in this.
    I dnt cry as much as I do before though. Thanks for the article. Its helpful.