Thursday, October 16, 2014

Should A Woman Cook For Her Husband?

I plan to cook for my husband when I’m married.

In fact, I look forward to it.
Yes, I know I’m a 21st century gal. Yes, I know I’m part of the “feminism” era. Yes, I know that women who don’t cook can and do get married all the time. Yes, I know that many new-age ladies find the idea of cooking for your husband utterly oppressive. Yes, I know all these things and I’m still looking forward to cooking for my husband, loves.
Why?
Firstly, it’s because I like cooking.
 I like being able to cook and create a dish. I like being able to cook and eat a meal I’ve prepared myself. I like being able to cook and share a meal with someone I love. I like being able to bring a bit of happiness to another through food. And secondly, I see no good reason in spending my married life making it a point to not cook for my husband. After all, it's both of us that will benefit from and enjoy the food I make, right?
Yes o!
Truth: I see no oppression in choosing to cook for my husband when I'm married.
In fact, I consider it EMPOWERING.
I’m grateful to have cooking as a skill under my belt. To be able to use my own two hands to prepare a full-fledged meal is not something I consider a punishment but a privilege.
Cheers to the ladies that cook!

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that any woman should cook three square meals a day, slave over a stove for the rest of their lives, or that “all women belong in the kitchen”. I’m not saying I’m waging a war against the ladies that don’t cook (don’t look for me o!) I’m also not saying that men shouldn’t cook – fellas, it would be wise for you to learn how to use a pot too!
What I am saying is that I think it’s wonderful when a woman knows her way around the kitchen. I’m also saying that as a woman who knows how to cook, I welcome the continued opportunity to use that skill as an added gesture of love and appreciation towards my future husband whom I will love and cherish.
What’s wrong with that?
As far as I can see…NADA.
So, to my bra-burning, no-cooking, say-no-to-submission feminist sisters, all I can say is this:
I know how to cook.
I like to cook.
I plan to cook for my husband when I’m married.
And no, I don’t believe it will stifle my power as a woman. Yes, I do believe it will be one more way of embracing the full beauty that is my womanhood.
What can I say?
I'm old-school like that :)
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What are your thoughts on this topic, loves? Do you plan to cook for your husband when you're married? (Or if you are married, do you cook for him now?) Do you find the idea of cooking for your husband oppressive? Leave a comment below - I want to know!:)

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28 comments:

  1. I personally think Yes of course you should cook for your husband. There is a line between feeling empowered and oppressed and cooking should not be the measure of this. I suspect a woman/wife who feels cooking is oppressive has other issues she might be dealing with.

    All this said i definitely do not think a woman should be judged by her willingness, ability or desire to cook or not. Afterall there are husbands who are also happy to cook. They are still men aren't they?

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    1. Like you said LagosMums, cooking should not be used as the measure between female empowerment and oppression!

      And I'm all about the husbands that cook - it's not a woman's skill, it's a skill period so let them jump on board too! :)

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  2. hmmmmm my first time here...good/quality content i will like to bookmark this page now ..chicherz i see you nice one #DOPE

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    1. Thanks, Deji!! I appreciate your comment...I'd love for you to stick around on the blog :)

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  3. And for some reason, men's meals so delicious! they just have some touch... I second you Lagos Mums, your willingness not to cook or to cook shouldn't define you. And also those who feel cooking is oppressive (there's more to the story).
    In some household esp African ones, you are bullied and talked down on in regards to a woman cooking.. Afterall my mum realised that other than following the steps of her elders. She told me the more you cook you get better, let them talk. Everybody starts from somewhere. I know a guy who left a girl whom he was dating coz she ain't cooking. Guess what his wife doesn't consider the kitchen one of her favourite places to be...

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    1. Oh yes, some of the best chefs in the world are guys - bring on the meals fellas! lol.

      Now bullying and insulting a woman based on her cooking is absolutely unnecessary and unproductive. It's different if you want to offer gentle suggestions but if you want to come with harsh criticism, biko carry it and go.

      I have heard of guys who have said that a gal who cooks is a requirement for them - that's why I always say men and women should discuss their relationship negotiables and non-negotiables BEFORE they decide to get in a relationship.

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  4. Hmmm.. Nice one.. I wish I loved cooking like you do Ada, but I am praying for grace!
    I like the idea of being able to cook for my husband, particluarly if it is important to him.. Some men don't really mind.
    Now, my marriage is not a power trip or a statement-making opportunity, it is two of us working out what's the best fit for us, making sacrifices where necessary and ensuring that we are both serving each other in love.. If it is important to him, it would be my pleasure.. In the same way that I pray that he would take things that are important to me very seriously..

    I have already bookmarked some excellent cooking blogs for tips and recipes too - No boring kitchen in my home :-) xx

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    1. Thanks, Ayo! Biko, I don't mean I want to live in the kitchen o! I enjoy being able to cook but I cannot promise the kitchen pots will see me every single day lol

      I completely agree that in marriage you have to determine what works best for the two of you and prayer is key.

      I love the initiative you're taking to make sure you have a lively kitchen in your home...I better follow suit :)

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  5. I would have left a lengthy comment but you, LagosMums and 1+ The One have said it all. I enjoyed the piece immensely

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    1. Gracias Nma!!! LagosMums and Ayo definitely chimed in with great points :)

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  6. I think if you love your husband, want him to be healthy and stay around for a long time you will cook for him. Let's face it, men left to their own devices will not eat right. Therefore we have to jump in there and help them. As women, we are suppose to be their helpers, right? It's a way to serve him that will benefit you both in the long run. Hopefully, he will serve you in ways that are important to you. What if each party tried to out-serve the other? That would result in a marriage made in heaven.
    Tracey L. Moore
    Author
    The Exceptional Man: Love Poems and Inspirational Writings Celebrating Godly Men and Great Relationships

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Tracey! :) Like you said, I think cooking is one great way to be of service to your husband and if you are someone who is very health-conscious about the food you eat (I have work to do in that arena! lol) then it's definitely going to be a great benefit to both your hubby and you. The hope is to have a partner that is also mindful of how to be loving and of service to you too because then both of you will feel taken care of.

      Partners that work to out-serve each other would truly be something to behold!

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  7. I think I'd like to cook more, but the truth is I don't like to stay in the kitchen for more than 30 minutes at a time. Meanwhile, Cakes on the other hand, enjoys cooking and doesn't mind spending time in the kitchen. So...

    http://berrydakara.blogspot.com

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    1. Cheers to Cakes for knowing his way around the kitchen! When it comes to the time, sometimes I'm ready to spend 2 hours making a meal and there are other times when, like you o, I want to fly out of the area quickly so I am thankful for quick pasta dishes or something like plantain porridge which gets done pretty quickly.

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  8. I actually enjoyed reading this :)

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    1. I'm glad :)

      p.s. Why am I responding to your comment almost a year later? Smh, pray for me lol

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  9. When I read this title, I thought, who else should cook for him?
    the way to a man's heart is truly through his mouth o. The way to anyone's heart is through their stomach. That's why business people have business dinners and business lunches. I like to cook, so I wouldn't mind.
    www.coilsandglory.com

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  10. LOL!!! The "...who else should cook for him?" opener of your comment had me laughing well. My dear, I'm with you on the way to a person's heart being through their stomach - I can attest to that one. When you cook for me, things have now reached a new level o! :)

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  11. Mbok! I cook o! Chai I love cooking! I am passionate about good home making and I think God made women for that. Its good if the husband doesnt mind, and am not saying all women must be like me. (I spend 40 per cent of my day planning meals in my head) What I dont like is noodles-cooking wives we have today. So lazy to cook and not even making efforts. They leave their children to feed on fizzy drinks and noodles or ekaette's food, all because they are busy. Its more interesting to find time to at least make good food for family twice a week. It improves family-bonding. I am a busy woman also. The 30 min meals are good for busy women.

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Oluwatoyin! I like your idea of getting on a cooking schedule that works for the individual - like cooking twice a week. Like you, I do believe home-cooked meals offer an opportunity for bonding as a family. Cooking can be made interactive by inviting the children to join in the prepping, allowing you to spend more time with them. Also, sitting down around the dinner table to eat meals together and talk amongst yourselves can serve as a great quality time tradition.

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  12. What a convincing way to put it! Loved reading it. I'd like to add that it remains pleasant only as long as it's a choice.

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    1. Thanks, Mohna! And oh yes, it should always be up to individual choice and personal priorities. To feel forced into cooking completely takes the joy out of it. No bueno :)

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  13. 'After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealers@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS'

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  14. 'After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or call him +2349055637784 you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS'

    ReplyDelete
  15. I agree that women should cook and further that men should not cook as long as the wife is healthy enough. Cooking is a woman's job and men should not act as women. Your thoughts that women should cook is according to what I can discover in the minority.

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