Monday, August 11, 2014

How To Stop Creating Unnecessary Suffering In Your Life

Sometimes, there's worthy suffering in life - like suffering because you choose to take a courageous stand on behalf of your faith.

Sometimes, there's unnecessary self-created suffering that you can do without  - like remaining in a depressed rut over an ex that has since moved on to the next gal.

There’s a great chance that you create a lot of unnecessary suffering in your life.


You probably don’t “soul-check” your life.

Soul-checking is the active practice of identifying, reviewing, and correcting the choices you make in all areas of your life (work, family, friends, spirituality, marriage, etc) AS you live your life.

“Soul-checking” is a term I was inspired to coin a little while back. Here’s the story. It was about two years ago, a quiet night in for me, and I was bored with little to do. I decided to browse through my notifications page on Facebook (which I often did) and almost every status that came up was a complaint status…crappy life, awful boyfriend, back-stabbing friends, etc. To my surprise, what really stood out to me in the posts were the blatantly obvious spelling errors in abundance. Now if you know me, you know I am a LOT little obsessed with grammatical rules and when I see a spelling error (trust me, mine too) I feel a twinge of internal pain; especially considering we all have access to a spellchecker. It became so hard to read the posts because each spelling error I came across was stealing the show. As I was scrolling down the list of incorrectly-spelled posts that people were more-than-comfortable to share, I was suddenly hit with a bolt of truth:

Many of us suffer a lot at our own hands and produce terrible results in our lives because we’re TOO COMFORTABLE with the errors we repeatedly make and refuse to correct.

That was it! I was suffering to read their Facebook posts because they looked so unappealing. Their Facebook posts looked so unappealing because they hadn’t spell-checked their words! (And that immediately stood as a reflection to me of how much we don’t soul-check our lives.) To have a great life you MUST continuously, throughout your life, take the time to self-reflect and assess the choices you make (are they good for the enhancement of your soul or not?), the purpose behind the pain you go through (there are ALWAYS life lessons to learn), the environment you surround yourself in, the work you share with the world and how it feeds people’s minds & spirits, the soul errors that need correcting, and how close or far away you are from God and HIS purpose for your life.
That is what most of us fail to do and that is why most of us don’t have great lives.

Most of us don’t care to take the time for self-reflection or meditation. Most of us don’t want to analyze our choices and prefer to let our feelings boss us around. Most of us don’t want to find the lessons packaged within the pain we experience and would much rather consider it senseless; allowing it to lead us into comfortable ruts of hopelessness and depression. (I could win the crown for this one.) Most of us don’t care to take accountability for the errors we make and prefer to blame others instead (boy, do I know how easy and appealing this is!) Most of us are just running helter-skelter in life carrying baggage upon baggage of past suffering and mistakes that we have refused to resolve while creating new suffering and mistakes to add to the load!

Most of us are doing life ALL WRONG.

If you want a great life filled with an abundance of God’s peace, gratitude, generosity, and joy like you’ve never experienced before, you NEED to make soul-checking a DAILY habit in your life. Speaking from experience loves, I can tell you that when I consistently practice soul-checking, I enjoy so much peace & joy in my life (regardless of whether I am going through a happy or painful moment), and I am more loving and engaging with others in the world. But, when I go through those periods of not soul-checking my life (which do happen), I suffer A LOT and I don’t offer the best version of myself to the world

Don’t let your self-created suffering get the best of you, loves. Don’t shortchange yourself from the peace and joy that you are capable of experiencing while going through the ups and downs of life. Don’t remain comfortable offering the world close-to-the-worst version of yourself. Do yourself (and quite frankly, everyone else too) a favor and start soul-checking your life.

I’m telling you, your life will inevitably become GREATER:) 

What are your thoughts on this, loves? Do you think there is a difference between pain and suffering? Do you think suffering is ever optional? Do you think there has ever been suffering in your life that you unnecessarily self-created? Leave a comment below:)

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p.s.s. My new eBook, "GET U.G.L.Y.", is now available!!! In it, I'm talking about my struggle with physical insecurities and the ways you can learn to love and appreciate your own looks/body. Click here to get your FREE copy of the book.
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