Monday, March 31, 2014

Are You Single And Ready To Mingle?

Ah yes, "single and ready to mingle".

Pop culture loves the phrase. What does “single and ready to mingle” really mean for young women though? Here are a few things commonly thought of when we hear this phrase.

"Now I can have sex with anyone and everyone, exposing myself to any and every sexually transmitted disease out there. Yay!" 

Why not? You're single.

"Now I can go clubbing every weekend and grind on every guy at the party!" 

Why not? You're single.

"Now I can get drunk all I want or smoke all the pot I want!" 

Why not? You're single.

"Now I can wear bra-less shirts, shorter-than-short shorts, and tighter-than-tight dresses (like sausage in its casing)!" 

Why not? You're single.

"Now I can go on 101 dates and get guys to take me out to fancy restaurants and pay for my meals!"
Why not? You're single.

"Now I can max out my credit card and incur all types of debt by buying all the Gucci, Prada, and LV purses, shoes, clothes, jewelry, and accessories I could ever think of!" 

Why not? You're single.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? It does for me. I’ve been known to wear some scandalous outfits in my day. I’ve been known to go out on two or three…or sixty-five dates with guys I knew I had no worthy future with but agreed to go to dinner with because they’d probably flatter my ego all night and pay for my meal at the end. I’ve been known to make the club scene my second home and dirty dancing my mission.  I’ve been known to do a lot of rubbish and waste a lot of time. And I'm guessing, so have many of you.

If you’re single, this is not the time for reckless, loose, inconsiderate, and self-absorbed behavior. This is not the time to have “the wildest sexcapades” of your life. This is not the time to become more and more narcissistic and entitled, making life all about your pleasure with no concern for anyone else. 

This is time for spiritual GROWTH in all areas of your life. 

This is time to draw yourself back to God (in some cases, you might have to drag yourself back). This is time for you to learn how to enjoy and value a relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, and become satisfied in it. This is time to develop your mind, body, and spirit as a confident, kind, loving, patient, and forgiving woman - and if you plan to have a great husband one day, it's great preparation for you to become a great wife. This is time to decide what your single story will be.

Will it be one of self-awareness, spiritual growth, and God-dependence with a focus on your God-given purpose or will it be one of drunken debauchery, rebellion, and almost-nameless body counts? Your single story is whatever you choose it to be.

Forget the fact that most people expect and encourage you to go through your “young, wild, and stupid” phase like everybody else does. One, you can’t listen to everything people tell you – they’re wrong a lot (there is never a time when every single person on the planet believes and does the exact same thing). Two, you’re not supposed to be like “everybody else”. If you were, your name would be everybody else; but it’s not. 

Be mindful of your choices. Be mindful of how you treat your body; don’t allow any guy(s) to run all up in it. Be mindful of what and who you make your top priority in life – that position should be held by Jesus Christ ALONE. Be mindful and exercise self-control. Just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you always SHOULD. I can stick my hand on the hot stove in my kitchen anytime I’d like; it doesn't mean I should - FYI, I did stick my hand on the kitchen stove when I was younger and let's just say I'll never do it, on purpose, again. 

What does "single and ready to mingle" mean to you? What mistakes have you made as a current or former single gal? What lessons did you learn? What are your recommendations for enjoying single-hood? Leave a comment below, I'd love to know:)

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  1. Very nice post Ada it reminds me a bit of my "Date Yourself" post I need a few months ago! It is so true that being single shouldn't be a time to loose yourself in the madness of it all and leave all inhibitions behind and good credit. It should be a time to get to know yourself and grow as a woman on her own and leave just how independent you are and the amazing things you are capable of doing without the assistance of a man in your life.

    1. Thank you Nicola:)
      The messaging geared towards young women from the media can be so misleading. So much emphasis on "bagging" a man and not enough on developing your personal value/growing in Godly service to others.