Tuesday, August 20, 2013

3 Truths Ladies are Terrified to Admit

Hey hey lovelies! Happy Tuesday to each and every one of you. I hope your week has started off on a great note. I haven't done one of these type of posts in a while and I decided this would be a perfect topic to cover. I have grown up with girls and women all my life and I've noticed that there are many truths we keep in secret and are afraid to tell for fear of judgment and rejection. Now just to let you know in advance these are all MY opinions formed from my 26 years of researching the female species and from being a female myself. I'm a big believer that honesty is the key to happiness and as ladies we really need to be more honest with ourselves and others. Below are 3 truths that I've noticed women are terrified to admit.

1. I don't want to have kids - Oh no! Call the doctor, she must be feeling ill! Apparently there is a motherhood memo circulating around which states that as females we are required to want and have kids. Truth be told, not all of us want that. And it's actually OK if you don't.  I see too many young women lugging babies around that I either personally know they didn't really want to have - and most times only did so because of family or spousal pressures - or ladies I don't know but can tell by their behavior don't necessarily consider their child "the greatest love of their lives." I say be honest with yourself; life is too short for you to be unhappy and/or possibly resentful. Your goal should always be to reach your personal and spiritual best as a person. If that involves a child or children for you, fantastic! If it does not, great too!

2. I can' t afford to "ball on a budget" - I must say I have been guilty of this one. You see your friends partying and living it up and whenever they call your phone to go out to dinner or get a section at a club you dread it because you know that means you'll have to shell out money from your limited supply of cash. Darlings, as my wise aunty once told me, "cut your coat according to your size." If you know you are tipping into your rent money to keep up with your "baller" friends, it has gone too far. If you know you had to skip a meal to buy a new outfit for that party your bestie is having next week, it has gone too far. I say when in doubt, always go back to the truth. Tell your friends that you are not financially equipped at the moment to join them in all the festivities but when you're money gets back on track, you'll be back on track with the outings. Your true friends will be understanding and supportive of you during this time. If on the other hand  they seem upset, you would do well then to inform them that they can either handle your outing expenses or they can equally sit down and relax.

3. I don't want to be your friend because I see you as competition - Ah yes. We're getting serious here o! If there is one thing we all share in common as ladies, it's the fact that we all have insecurities. Whether it's about our looks or our clothes or our jobs or our intelligence or whatever else, we all face certain insecurities that creep up to the surface from time to time. I remember growing up around a lot of girls in school and noticing that many times girls were mean or unwilling to befriend certain girls because of their looks. Now no one ever came out and said it of course, but it was obvious that some girls felt threatened by other girls and their good looks because they thought guys would find them more attractive and it would mean less options for them. I finished school a while back but unfortunately this behavior is still very much commonplace among women in society. I understand insecurity ladies, I really do, but the truth is there will never be a shortage of "fine girls." It makes no sense disqualifying someone as a friend because of their looks; you're only doing a disservice to yourself because you are depriving yourself of a potentially wonderful and spiritually fulfilling friendship. Rest in the wisdom that whichever guy is meant for you will be for YOU so you have no business worrying about how many heads turn for the other lady. 

There you have it folks. Did you spot any that applied to you? Any that you disagree with? I know there are tons more out there and I'd love to know the ones you are familiar with in your life or that you've noticed in other ladies. It would also be great to read a guy's perspective on the matter. Don't be shy peeps, get commenting!:)


  1. Interesting. I actually I agree with all these. For number 1, I used to feel like that at some point in my life. Mainly for selfish reasons but I think I've grown out of that feeling now. I'm lowkey kinda excited about having kids someday down the line.

    For the second one, luckily I have awesome friends, if I can't afford it, I'll quickly tell you and they'll either say "I got you" or we find other plans that don't involve spending money. I'm not with that fake lifestyle. If I got it, I got it, if not...I pray to one day. I do know a lot of people who don't cut their coat according to their size and will be throwing away money to appear like they have it all. Mainly guys though.

    Last one...very true. I remember in undergrad, this one girl was so pretty but her friends weren't nearly as pretty as her and people used to say she picked her friends strategically so as not to have anyone prettier than her that would take the attention away from her. Not sure how true that was but seriously, who has time for all that really? Whether the prettier girl is your friend or not, she will still be out there and thus may take the attention away from you at some point. We all just need to deal with our insecurities and live happy lives.

    1. Girl, trying to keep with other peoples lifestyles is exhausting...now that you mention it, it reminds me that I have known - and still know - guys that fall into the trap too.

      We really do have to get a grip on our insecurities as women...we can't let such trivial things keep us from being fully happy and enjoying our lives.