Monday, May 6, 2013

When Did Our Parents Become Our Homies?


Hey Beautiful people! I hope you had a fantastic weekend. Today I want to talk about what I consider good parenting. I recently heard about a young girl who had been caught by her parents posting nude semi-nude photos of herself all over social media sites (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc). Her parents felt that simply telling her to take them down wouldn't teach her enough of a lesson. They made her stand on the corner of a neighborhood street holding a cardboard sign that said she was sorry for embarrassing herself by posting inappropriate photos online and she would not do it again. Now as I'm sure you can imagine, people had mixed feelings about the situation. Some people felt the punishment was too harsh while others believed it was very appropriate. I'm going to have to go with the latter group on this one. Here's Why.

I look at the youngsters coming up today and I am appalled by the behaviors of so many of them. Children with no concept of the words "good morning", "please", and "thank you". Teenagers roaming the streets and club-hopping all hours of the night. Young girls wearing scantily clad outfits and posting inappropriate pictures of themselves online for the world to see. Teenagers smoking, snorting, and injecting any and all drugs they can get their hands on. Young teens frequently having unprotected sex with no knowledge of their partners sexual history. Why you ask? Because they feel uninhibited and are clueless about the concept of boundaries. Why you ask? Well that's easy to answer; because many parents are afraid to parent.

Modern parents have a hard time drawing the line between being their child's parent and being their child's friend. A lot seem to fall under the friend label. Wrong. You are first and foremost a PARENT; being a friend is a luxury, not a requirement.  A good parent provides love for their children. A good parent provides security for their child (food, water, shelter, clothing, education, etc). I believe a good parent teaches their child the difference between right and wrong, and how to have respect for all people, especially authority figures. A good parent does not shy away from their responsibilites because their child may "get mad" at them. So what? Let the child get mad. They haven't lived as long as you have. They haven't made the same mistakes and dealt with the harsh repercussions. They think they have things all figured out, but they still have so much to learn. As a friend you risk raising spoiled, inconsiderate, and underachieving adults.They may want you to be a "cool" friend but what they need you to be is a REAL PARENT. 

I see my parents as parents first, and friends second. We laugh, we joke, we enjoy each others company but I also know they have clearly-defined limits that I try not to cross. From childhood, they created structures and boundaries that my siblings and I had to adhere to. We didn't always think it was fair and we definitely thought they were "uncool" at times, but today we are all extremely thankful for the way they raised us. They gave us standards. My parents worked to instill moral and ethical values in their children. Now we're not perfect, but I can say that because of our parents we definitely believe in continuously building up our our character and being productive members of our society. Things that I'm sure we would have less concern for if we had "friends" raising us instead of parents.

So what do you think guys? Anyone agree with me here? Anyone disagree? Leave your comments down below...I can't wait to read them!:)

4 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more. Old-school discipline will always beat the ineffective parenting of today. However, the key is to strike a balance so you're not JUST a figure of fearful authority in your child's life. In my opinion, the two extremes (too friendly vs. too strict) only produces damaged, unbalanced kids.
    Great write-up!

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    1. Thanks! I agree that balance is the key. Parents should have a firm hand when it comes to their kids and should also create a safe, loving, and friendly environment for the kids to interact with them. Too much freedom or too much fear is detrimental to their upbringing...great insight!

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  2. Parents first before friends. Thank you. I have these thoughts occasionally that what if I'm one of those embarrassing mums? Like Vegan Nigerian said there should be a balance. We shouldn't forget that "folly lies in the hearts of children but the rod of correction drives it out" If SOlomon, the wisest man said that, discipline (not abuse) is certainly important in raising children.

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    1. Exactly mstizzle...it really comes down to balance and fair discipline. I really hope I remain level-headed when I actually have kids and not get carried away trying to be their "besties" lol

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