Monday, April 8, 2013

5 Tips To Enjoying Your Single Life Past 25

I'd like to make a plea to single women over the age of 25, "please let the desperation go." We can feel it across the room gals, it's palpable. I apologize if I'm coming off too harsh but it's really getting out of hand (trust me, I'm familiar with the ways of desperation myself) and I feel the need to interject my two cents.

From the workplace to the nightclubs, I see it everywhere. Mid 20-something ladies putting in overtime at the clubs and bars wearing the tightest, can't-breathe-if-I-tried dresses (I really can't believe some of the outfits I used to wear) and dropping it too low for safety on the dance floor. All this in a bid to get noticed and "snatched up" by their male counterparts. Single friends that are constantly complaining about having terrible anxiety and high blood pressure because they haven't found a guy to get in a relationship with which is delaying their wedding, marriage, and baby-making plans. 

Don't do it to yourself, it's unnecessary torture. As a single-and-loving-it gal myself (finally), I have some tips that can help you stop fretting so much about not having a man and instead enjoy your single time 'til he gets there.
  1. Limit time spent with married friends - Yes, I said it!  Is it just me or do any other single girls find that when you're with a group of married chicas they all seem to be giving you the half pity/half sorry-my-dear-but-I-don-pass-your-level look? No one? Ah OK, could just be me. Lol. Now I'm not suggesting that you drop all your married friends in a hot second, that would be unfair and unreasonable. What I am saying, however, is that constantly surrounding yourself with married ladies when you're single makes you stick out like a sore thumb and hearing them all talk about their hubbies and married lives can put you in a funk. I say use this time to reconnect with your single gal pals and make new friends that you can spend productive time with discussing God and other interests with. 
  2. Spend quality time with family - This is super important. As we get older, our lives sometimes move us in different directions (cities, states, countries!) from our family members and although you're single now, you never know how soon your mate might be coming in to your life. When that happens, marriage and children are bound to shortly follow and consume a great amount of your time. Use this single phase of your life to spend as much time as you can with your family. I am around my sisters and brother all the time; though it can get annoying at times, I am blessed and beyond grateful to be able to share laughs, stories, and create memories with the ones I love. Shout out to all my fam y'all!
  3. Pray about it - This one is key. I talk to God as my best friend. I always feel wiser, happier, and fulfilled after our conversations. Talk to God about the kind of man and relationship you'd like and ask that he be brought into your life when the time is right. Also, pray for the grace to be a better person and partner for your future mate. We all have personal flaws, and some may hinder us from being fully committed and productive in a relationship.  
  4. Focus on personal projects - No time like the present for this one. Focus on any personal projects, goals, and dreams while you have the uninterrupted chance. I recently decided I wanted to turn my love for storytelling and writing from a hobby into a career. I love how tunnel-visioned my focus is on just my writing projects. If you want to travel on a mission trip across the world, do it now. If you want to start your own NGO, start now. If you want to get healthier, start exercising and portion-controlling now. I know you can still do all this when you have a man, but it's much easier to at least start them now that you don't have a man consuming your thoughts 75% of the time. Don't play ladies, you know it's true:)
  5. Date yourself - A must. Use this opportunity as a single woman to really treat yourself with love and respect. Have dinner nights, at home if you prefer, where you dress up and get your hair done just for you! Start taking yoga classes, meditate, and keep the positive juices flowing in your mind and body. Have monthly spa dates where you treat yourself to relaxing/refreshing facials and massages. Treat yourself as special as you'd want your future husband to treat you.
Agree with any? Disagree with any? Any tip you'd like to add? Leave a comment and let's get talking peeps:)


  1. I love this and the idea that you need to date yourself. I think it's so easy to get caught up in wanting to date or be in a relationship with someone else that we forget about ourselves. We put so much pressure and stress on dating and we forget that it should be fun (especially alone!). There's a great book a friend of mine recommended to me and that I just finished reading called "The Club Rules". It's a really great reminder and the author Johnny Mac has some great tips for getting out and enjoying yourself. His website, has a lot of great info too and coincides with the book. Thanks for this post and these tips, I couldn't agree more!

  2. Exactly Marie! We put too much stress on ourselves when we should be really enjoying every minute of our lives (yay for alone time! lol)...thanks for the info, I'll be checking out Johnny's website for more:)