Friday, November 30, 2012

"15 Signs You're Dating A Boy, Not A Man"

I'm back from my hiatus guys! Sorry I've been gone so long, life got in the way and you know how distracting it can be. Anyways, I've returned and I have a post about an important topic for the ladies: dating. We've all suffered dating woes and some people are still going through them as I type. To me, the main problem seems to be in the guys we choose to date. There are significant differences when dating a boy versus a man and they lead to most problems in relationships. Below are 15 signs that can help you figure out if you're dating the wrong one.

1. He's younger than 30. From my experience in the dating world, I've come to realize that guys are a confused bunch, especially those under 30. They're still young, many in college or just beginning in their careers, and are not really interested in settling down in a monogamous relationship yet. Many 20-something guys will tell girls they're mature and ready but personally I prefer if they're a little older, more stable, and hopefully wiser. #Boy

2. He's a "pretty boy." Ah yes. The good skin, chiseled features, I'm-too-sexy-for-my-shirt guy. The problem with this guy, ladies, is that he knows he's rather good looking and probably expects you to feel lucky he "chose" you. He'll never be able to put you first because he already holds that position. #Boy

3. He's financially irresponsible. You know the guy. He buys the chains, $300 sneakers, bottles of Ciroc for his buddies at the club but still owes his rent bill from last month. Run far away from this one ladies. He's so focused on impressing his friends and looking rich that you'll both end up in an apartment with the lights cut off every two weeks. #Boy

4. He has multiple children but is not financially stable. An extension of the guy above. He has a dead-end job, broken down car, and apparently no regard for a little well-known contraceptive material called condoms. This guy is clearly not very bright. Running around and sleeping with almost everyone in sight, having one to two to ten kids and no real financial ability to take care of them. He has nothing more than debt and frustration to offer you. #Boy

5. He has no regard for spirituality or God. Now I don't expect him to be a pastor and quote scripture every second but he has to have an understanding and appreciation for his Creator and his life. So many guys are running around, acting like they're in charge and the world revolves around them but unfortunately they've fooled themselves. If he can't respect and appreciate God, you'll have quite the battle trying to get him to respect and appreciate you. #Boy

6. He invites you to his place on the first date. What an insult. Don't get confused ladies, just because first date sex has become more commonplace doesn't make it any less insulting. If a guy cares to know you and sees a potentially long future with you, he won't jeopardize that by starting off the bat with meaningless sex. #Boy

7. Every call or text from him is about sex. You guessed right, you're the BOOTY CALL! When he sees you, he only sees sex and as flattering as that may seem that also reduces your chances of being worth anything more to him. #Boy

8. He has little to no interest in meeting your family/friends. He's not serious. Point blank. If you mean a lot to him then he will make a good effort to meet your family and friends because he knows they mean a lot to you. #Boy

9. He has a "fuck," "shit," "bitch," "cunt" vocabulary. Apparently he never liked English class at school. This guy seems to be unable to construct one well-thought out sentence without a vulgar inclusion of some sort. He comes off poorly educated and will only succeed in negatively influencing your own vocabulary. #Boy

10. He is a habitual liar. You can't trust him. If he freely lies to you about simple things like his job, family, whereabouts etc then he will most definitely lie about more serious issues in your relationship. If you don't have trust, I daresay you don't have much left. #Boy

11. He doesn't inspire you. Ladies, you need to keep in mind the quality of the man you want to have in your life. Your partner should live a life that inspires you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Leave the guys who don't have any direction or obvious virtues you can identify. #Boy

12. He doesn't respect you. This is a big no-no. He talks to you rudely, disregards your opinion on serious matters, and doesn't really care how his actions make you feel. If he doesn't respect you then he probably views you as a temporary stint in his life and you have no real future together. #Boy

13. He doesn't claim you in public. Another insult. Around his friends and other people he refers to you by your name or introduces you as "friend." You're good enough to be in his bed at his apartment but you're not worthy of public acknowledgement? Beware. That is a major red flag that you're on the highway to absolutely nowhere. If you're valuable to him he won't hesitate to tell people. #Boy

14. He plays "house" with you but has no official title for you. Insult again. You practically live together, you cook his meals, clean up after him and he still says y'all are just "kicking it." Not going to work. His excuse may be that titles and labels just spoil good situations but what he really means is that YOU are not the one that has earned that title in his book. #Boy

15. He doesn't scream "HUSBAND" to you. Sometimes you just know. If he doesn't have the same values or life goals as you do there is no way you can really consider him true husband material. He may be fun and exciting for now but if you can't comfortably see him as a father to your current/future kids or as the head of your household then he's not the man for you.  #Boy


  1. True

  2. Very true. The point you made about Playing house is so very real. I have to share my story, I met this guy we dated for about 5 months before foolishly moving in together. By in i mean..into my apartment which i share with a dear this guy went and one day told me he had not renewed his lease on his own apartment..because we were "practically living together"..its been two months since..last month he paid no rent and bought no groceries..this month i decided i was not a sugar mama and I sent him packing..hopefully we can still be friends..if not..then no problem..

    1. good for you Janna! no need to stay in a situation that is more of a headache than a joy


  4. Don't settle, don't come accross like you would settle, do your due dilligence, and have a standard.

  5. This is so true! A friend of mine was just saying something recently about having a dating police and offenders shld be punished. I thought I was the only one really irked by the 'boyism' some guys portray in relationships.
    About settling, everybody seems to say, your standards are too high. You should settle but I don't think it wld be fair to either the guy or your kids.
    I particularly like No. 11. I don't want a man that can't inspire me.

    1. lol@"the dating police". I think No.11 is so important because our partner/husband is the person we plan to spend the rest of our lives with. How can we risk ending up with someone whose purpose is not aligned with ours? We need a partner who is determined to grow and improve in all areas of life so that we are further motivated to do the same...and vice versa.

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  7. Sorry Ada! But i don't agree with this post, I have been relationship since last 2 years and my bf is 33 years old and I am 25 years, From the last one year, we haven't been going good cause of certain reasons. What i expect from him, it's just his 'TIME'. I cannot be with that kind of person who's carrying 'chunky funky styles'.

  8. This could be true but in very few cases are the 20 something years guys not men. Especially in recent times guys are beginning to handle responsibility. It cannot be a complete package but everyone prays for almost a complete package. The law of not being perfect keeps a guys who acts mature to sometime twist and act like a boy. Its just life.

    But thanks be to God who will definitely give us nothing but the best.